Trúin með augum barnanna - alvarlega fyndið

Þetta er brandari sem ég fékk sendann frá vini mínum og því miður er hann á ensku. Þetta eru svör barna við hinum og þessum spurningum úr Nýja og Gamla Testamentinu. Alveg meiriháttar hvað getur komið út úr smá misskilningi eða vegna þess að þau ruglast á orðum.  Njótið! 

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

17. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

18. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

19. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

20. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

21. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

22. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

23. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

24. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY

Athugasemdir

[Linda, 8.1.2008 kl. 16:14]

Bara snilld!!!

[Ragnar Kristján Gestsson, 8.1.2008 kl. 18:13]

... THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY æi, ég verð að þurrka tárin haha.  Mjög fyndið og erfitt að gera uppá milli hver sé frábærastur ...  THE 12 DECIBELS ...hahahaha

[Mofi, 8.1.2008 kl. 18:23]

Ég gat ekki annað en hlegið upphátt þegar ég las þetta. Gaman að ykkur þótti þetta jafn skemmtilegt og mér :)

[Róbert Badí Baldursson, 9.1.2008 kl. 08:39]

Oh, maginn

[Guðsteinn Haukur Barkarson, 10.1.2008 kl. 19:22]

LOL ! Góður Dóri minn !